Colossians 3: 18-25 – Husbands
God creates this dynamic of the family, and in it, he assigned responsibility. Now, this is less about “gender roles” as we’ve seen in our culture and more about responsibility.
For a long time, men were thought to be the “breadwinners” and the disciplinarians. They were supposed to be the dads who came home from work, dealt with the issues, and ruled the roost. This is not what this passage is suggesting. Instead, he’s encouraging them to be mindful of the basic needs of their spouse. Wives are to submit to their husbands and not walk all over them. Give them the respect that they deserve and need. Husbands here are encouraged to “love their wives” and not to “be harsh with them.”
This is not what most people assume the Bible says about marriage. We assume traditional gender roles come from the scripture when really it says wives should give their husband some measure of respect and husbands should love their wives and treat them right. The idea of a man telling his wife to “shut up and listen” is the opposite of what this passage tells him to do. “Love her,” it says. In another passage, he goes even further to say love her the way Christ loves the church. Tending to her needs, caring for her, and going to the grave for her. I don’t see anyone making an argument that a husband shouldn’t do this anywhere. Even in the farthest women’s rights movements, no one thinks husbands should ignore their wives and be harsh with them. The Bible is encouraging husbands to treat their wives well, and have grace and compassion with them.
Husbands, if we asked your wife about the way you treated her and your relationship would she say it’s a relationship of love and grace?